What I want to teach my daughter about motherhood

Motherhood is hard. It will humble you and show you cracks in your character that will make you cringe at times, but it will also humble you and show you cracks that eventually break open to a new and uncharted love that you would have never experienced otherwise.

Motherhood isn't always giving birth. Mothers come in all forms, from the biological to the adoptive to the foster mom and everything in between. Being a mom to your children will be incredible but loving a child that was entrusted to you through the life of another mother is courageous, selfless, and shows the incredible beauty in choosing love.

Motherhood will cause you to sacrifice almost everything. You will give of your time, your sleep, and what may seem your own identity at times. But this will be a tiny glimpse into the sacrifice Jesus made for you.

Motherhood will make you question everything. You will question your strength, your intelligence, and just how successful that coffee actually is. This is an incredible gift, to have the wisdom to question is something you should never let go of. When you ask questions of yourself, you grow. when you ask questions of God, you get answers. When you question society, you challenge the status quo and bring about change. When you question the church you break up apathy and make room for love.

Motherhood will make you tired. So sleep.

Motherhood will make you a fighter. You will fight for your children at all cost so let this teach you to fight for your marriage no matter how broken, how lonely, and how hopeless it may seem. It's worth fighting for for reasons you won't see until after the smoke has cleared. But trust me when I say, you will never regret shedding blood, sweat, and tears for the man you say I do to. Let motherhood teach you to fight for your faith. There will be opposition around every corner. It will start in the school yard and will follow you to the nursing home. The world doesn't want you to fight for this one and so it will fight you back. But remember one thing, sweet girl, this is a battle that's already been won. So keep fighting knowing that you cannot fail when you stand for the love of Jesus. Let motherhood teach you to fight for the marginalized, the misunderstood, and the lost. Fight for them because that's who Jesus fought for. And you can never fail when you do anything that looks like Him.

Motherhood will show you just how deeply I've loved you. All the years we will spend on the rollercoaster of our relationship will one day lead us to this. To this moment when you will feel your heart beat for your child just as strongly as mine does for you. It will clear away all the haze of harsh words, slammed doors, and tears because you will finally see that I was just trying. Trying to love you the best that I could. Trying to teach you, guide you, and protect you the best that I could. Simply because I love you this much. (Arms open wide)

Motherhood will stretch, droop, and wrinkle everything. Yes, those arms will be at the mercy of gravity as well as a few other parts of your sweet little frame when you step into motherhood. But if you hear anything, please hear that it's ok! It's ok to feel beautiful when everything around you is telling you that you aren't. It's ok to throw out the scale and avoid the full-length mirror for a season. It's ok to shed a few tears over the new colourful patterns in your thighs. Whatever you're feeling about this, is ok. But don't stay here. Spend some time in this valley and then turn to God who created you, who adores you, and who looks at you with wide eyes full of wonder at the beauty of His perfect creation. Let him remind you of your beauty, let him hold all the scars, stretch marks, and the weight you can't seem to lose. And let it go. You are so much more than what those magazines, tv shows, and gym floors scream at you. You my daughter are loved by a king. THE King! And when you finally believe that He loves you just as you are, you will feel beautiful no matter what.

Motherhood will delight you. When you first see those tiny toes, or when you witness the first giggle. When you bring that baby, or child home for the first time. Whether it be from the hospital or from a broken home or a far away country, that child will delight you. You will find a new delight in the way the sun shines because it will shine on their little wide eyes. You will find a new delight in the way the wind blows because it will blow through their hair as they run with freedom and joy. You will find a new delight in the unknown because you will watch as they step into adolescence and adulthood and become brave and excited to take it on for themselves. In motherhood you will begin to delight in the silence. This one you won't fully understand until you are hiding in the bathroom from your own kids but silence will become a treasure. For the obvious reasons and also because, in the silence you can delight in the still small voice of God, who will guide, reassure, and rest your spirit through the chaos of motherhood.

Motherhood will make you think you are doing it all wrong. But you are not! You may do it different than someone else but if you love that child, if you fear for that child, if you pray for that child, you aren't doing anything wrong. You can always be more gentle, more patient, and more loving but we all can. That has nothing to do with motherhood, we all fall short in some way and we can all do better. But when you feel those lies creep in, that you're failing at motherhood or you're going to "ruin" your child, throw them out! Smash those lies with a hammer, throw them in the fire, do whatever you can to remind yourself that just by caring you are doing it right.

Motherhood will send you to your knees. Get comfortable down there, maybe buy a nice mat for your knees and a new pair of jeans. Because praying will get you through everything motherhood has to throw at you. Never underestimate the power of a praying mother. You can move mountains with your prayers. You can protect your children, you can fight for your children, and you can lavish your children with love all through prayer! If you don't believe me, just try it!

Motherhood will max out your library card. You will want to buy every single book but the only book you need is the bible. It has every perfect parenting strategy, discipline technique and sleep training manual you will ever need. Crack it open and ask God to teach you everything you need to know on motherhood. And He will! It may not seem like it but it's all in there. And outside of motherhood, literally everything you will ever need for your whole life is in there. Like I said before, if you don't believe me, just try it!

And above all else motherhood will lead you to God if you let it. The most precious relationship, the most beautiful love story is waiting for you. Whether you are a mother or not. Everything you hope and dream to find in motherhood, in this life, is waiting in Him. All the joy, delight, answers, purpose, and love is all waiting perfectly wrapped and waiting for you to unfold.

It's worth a try isn't it? What do you have to lose?

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