I failed my children

As I look ahead to the days when I will be looking back, these words will likely come up more than once. I've had conversations with parents who have reached this stage and many of them really struggle with some guilt looking back. They have spent days truly saddened over holding on too tightly to the things they could have done or the things they wish they hadn't. I have to say I am very grateful and honoured to have been allowed access to such transparency.

For all of you going through this now, let me just stop here and urge you to rest in God's endless grace and the truth that He is greater than any mistakes or short comings that have haunted you.

"Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me." -2 Corinthians 12:8-9 

When I think about the time when I have to face my failures as a parent, I am left with a sense of peace and hope rather than fear. The hope that in all the areas that I've "failed my children" and left them "without", that will be an area where they are invited into the fullness and success of Christ.  The broken pieces I know I will leave them with can be perfectly restored as they fall into the love of Jesus.

"Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for mankind, for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things." -Psalm 107:8-9 NIV

I pray that my failures will help to propel them toward the wholeness and promises that God has for them. I will push forward with God's help to be the absolute best mom I can be but I will also trust that I don't have to carry the weight of my short comings into the future because I know He will always be enough. I can spend my days looking back on the beautiful ways He's rescued, redeemed, and healed me and know that He can do the same for them. I can never leave them too broken for Him, no one can. I know this because I was not too broken for Him.

We will never be perfect parents. We will never really figure out this whole parenting thing or really get it right but rest assured that He will! Where we fall short, He fills in the gaps. He will perfectly guide our children and perfectly love them when we can't.

So if you're in the stage of looking forward, rest in the promise of His perfect love and provision.

"Look at the birds. They don't plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren't you far more valuable to him than they are?" -Matthew 6:26 NLT

And if you're in the stage of looking back rest in God's perfect and endless grace.

"In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace." -Ephesians 1:7 NIV

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