One thing I've been noticing a lot lately is the view our world has placed on children and having more children and it brings a great sadness to my heart.



All around me I've witnessed conversations, when summed up, point to the conclusion that our children are a burden and having multiple is a hinderance. These may seem like harsh accusations but I know I'm not the only one who has witnessed this and I will sadly but fully admit I have also been a culprit of this attitude.

Having children is hard and no matter how hard we try there are moments when we get sucked into the selfish mentality of this world. So when children come into the picture and plans change they are easy targets.

I also feel this recent battle between stay at home moms and working moms and even the admirable attempt to smooth it over has left a bruise on the way we view our children.

As I'm spending time listening to God and trying to embrace His view on children I'm feeling more convicted for my own part in this but I'm also watching God smooth and refine that area of my heart into one that loves and adores children. The more I surrender my own selfishness the more I find myself smiling as I pick up the tiny pieces of rice off the dining room floor and treasuring the silly, yet loud, noises I didn't know something so small could make.

My children aren't a burden or a barrier. My selfishness is.

Psalm 127:3-5 says
"Behold children are a heritage from the Lord,
the fruit of the womb a reward.
Like arrows in the hand of a warrior
are the children of one's youth.
Blessed is the man
who fills his quiver with them!
He shall not be put to shame
when he speaks with his enemies in the
gate."

God loves children and Jesus' ministry was the perfect example of that. Jesus adored them and he used examples of us being like children as a good thing multiple times in scripture. Do I think we should all have ten kids? No, I don't think that's what this Psalm is meaning exactly either but I also don't think we should be quick to judge those who do.

I feel truly blessed to be able to watch my two babies grow and if it ends with two then I will cherish every single moment with them but if God calls me to put my plans on the side and have more children then I will go into it with a heart more like Christ and be thankful for the gift of growing and directing more hearts to Him. If we have a kingdom vision I think it will be easy for us to see the great joy in sending more soldiers into battle for Christ.

I'm not raising children, I'm raising disciples.

I'm scared for this next generation of children coming up in a world that has already turned their hearts away from them. Growing up in a home where parents have even the slightest resentment towards their children is poison and we don't give them enough credit for what they actually see and feel. I'm sure we can all compile a lengthy list of things to blame for this negative view on children but I feel the only resolution is to start to let God change our own hearts and then flood the world with an overpowering love for children. Whether it's simply showing more patience to our own kids in public or being quick to kneel down and show kindness to the screaming kid in aisle five that is sending his mom running out in shame and fear, there is something we can do. God loves children and even refers to them as arrows that we should fill our quiver's with and my hope and prayer is that we can too start seeing the joy and importance children bring to our lives.

Victoria Nevland-wanderlust

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Today I began to bridge a gap that has been left gaping and ignored for far too long in my life and all around me and as I see the gap closing ever so slightly I am filled with excitement and a new joy I haven't experienced yet.


After days of putting it off for reasons too silly to mention, I met with a new friend today. I met this lovely woman months back and was drawn to her heart and her desire for the same God that I too had fallen deeply in love with. This amazing woman would have stayed in the comfortable acquaintance zone simply because she had many years on me but thanks to the way God has been working in my heart I was able to catch a small glimpse of the importance and reward this relationship may hold. So I stepped out. Out of my comfort zone, out of my fear of one on one conversation, and out of the confining hold this separation of generations has had on my life. And I am here to tell you friends that  I am so thankful!

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good. and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind and submissive to their husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." Titus 2:3-5



What a beautiful gift God has given us with these amazing "older women" and oh what we have been missing. I'm so excited to say that I have a woman who I know without a doubt will not only teach me these beautiful things but who is also anxious to. To be taught to be self-controlled, pure, kind, loving, and submissive in order to honor the word of God is to be taught to be like Jesus and what more could we want? So I will step into this uncharted territory and I will fight against my doubt, fear and uncomfortability and I will cling to this gift that God has given me.

I hope not only to absorb the wisdom, kindness, gentility, and patience of the older women God puts in my path but I hope to bring a gift to the table as well. I hope to bring a listening ear, a strong arm to hold, steady feet to walk as far as is needed, a passion to reignite, and a vision to close the rest of the gap. We all have something beautiful to bring to these relationships God has called us to.

"One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts."
Psalm 145:4

I think at first glance this verse looks like this is something to be passed down but what if this is a call to pass the word of God's amazing work up and down. That we may be lifted up by the power of God's work in the evidence of a long and beautiful life and that we may also be reignited by the power of God's work in the passion, child-like faith, and fearlessness of a developing life.

So join me.

Join me to end our search for the fountain of youth and to instead settle into the amazing vision God has for our lives in unity together, young and old.

The joy that doesn't end when the laughter stops and the rest that doesn't fade into chaos when the sun goes down and the realities of chores and life flood in. I love to sit in these temporary moments because I believe that these are little gifts from God. They are little pieces of happiness that we get to touch because he also loves absorbing our laughter and joy. 

We all love to think that this happiness and this sense of rest we find in life doesn't fade and we also like to believe that in some way we are in control of these precious feelings. The reason I want to share this with you is because we all know that those things we like to think are not true. The truth is, that happiness is fleeting and "rest" has become a luxury and is usually something that belongs to someone else. This is a very sad and hopeless view but it has also become the reality of the world we live in. We spend our time reading self-help books and listening to celebrities tell us that we just need to focus on ourselves and these things will come. We need to find our inner happiness and our inner peace and we will be ok. 

Now before you stop reading I want to tell you that this isn't the way it has to be. There is joy and rest out there that is stable and very attainable but it has nothing to do with finding what makes us happy or even slowing down life to give us rest and we have it right at our fingertips. 

So for all of us who are looking for joy when the winter rolls in and those of us who are scraping the sides of the bowl to find a tiny piece of rest, this is my prayer. That we will cling to the truths of God's word and that we would begin to unravel the true meaning of these precious commodities. 

"There are many who say, 'Who will show us some good? Lift up the light of your face upon us, O Lord!' You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone O Lord, make me dwell in safety."- Psalm 4:6-8

I am very grateful for the life that God has given me. I have a loving and hardworking husband, two healthy kids who are already falling in love with Jesus, a home for them to run free and experience God in a beautiful and natural setting, and so much more. I feel that my "grain and wine abound" but these things are temporary and I have no control over the ups and downs of life. There is loss, brokenness and pain that creeps up in a split second and can wipe these amazing things away. So what is left when that happens? In the hands of God and through his amazing grace and love we can find ourselves in the most trying of times and still be so full of his joy and rest that our heart abounds and we can lie down and rest in safety. 

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."- Matthew 11:28

"So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you."- John 16:22

This is the kind of rest and joy that I want to hold onto. That I will know that in my most laborious times I can and will find rest in Jesus  and in the deepest corners of my sorrow I will rejoice and I can have the full assurance that no one and nothing can take that away. But where does this come from and how can we all have it?

"Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."-Philippians 4:4-7

"In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith- more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls."- 1 Peter 1:6-9

Now this is the part that I find is so cool. While the world tells us to pick up our problems and solve them God tells us to pray and give them to him and then we will find rest and peace. I just get so overwhelmed by that because that is someone who really loves us. Through Jesus Christ and our surrender to him we will find a joy that is "inexpressible" and a "peace...which surpasses all understanding." We find so many reasons to fight God but why would we when we can have this. When all we have to do is let go and let God. When all we have to do is stop trying and just fall into his rest and joy that never ends. 

Now that's what I want and that is what I am so excited to share with all of you! So enjoy your summer days, your children's laughter, the lazy days by the pool and rest in the assurance that even if these things fall away there will be rest and joy waiting with open arms. 

  

Over the past two years or so I'd say I've acquired a reputation among the people who have gotten to know me both on a deep level and as an acquaintance. I've seen my identity in Christ unfold into a woman of boldness and courage who is outgoing and the first to jump into establishing new relationships with other women.

I have to tell you though, this is all very new and exciting for me. I was not this woman that you see. I was insecure, quiet, and you wouldn't catch me in a room full of women if my life depended on it. I had female friendships that typically were hanging on by a thread, based on a very shallow foundation and they usually came one at a time.


The reason why my heart aches to share this with you is because I have been coming into contact with so many women who are terrified of not only pursuing relationships with other women but who are also terrified of being pursued in a meaningful relationship. There are so many good reasons for this fear because so many of us have been burned along the way by at least one woman in our lives. Whether it just started with our own moms or if it was a friend somewhere alone the way. But we have to remember that fear is not from God and that very justifiable fear can very easily keep us at an unsafe distance from God.

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." -Proverbs 18:24

We not only need deep friendships but God will give them to us! This word is for each of us, not just the lucky few who fall into these close friendships. But I also believe that we have to put in a little effort. For me I didn't wake up one morning and decide I was going to invest in other women and find close friendships, I prayed and God answered, and he started with just one. The amazing thing about God is that his answers can often come in such abundance that we don't even know what to do with it. After I was blessed with one good friend women started pouring into my life. I felt like God opened the flood gates and all these women and potential friends poured right into my lap. But with this came great responsibility because I had to put my fear aside and become transparent and open to these amazing women. There were and still are days where I have to pray and rely on God to just give me small talk so I can interact but there are days when God equips me so beautifully that I can pour my heart out to these women and grow so closely with them.


I can selfishly sit back and settle into these amazing friendships and I can slide into a cliche so easily and I would be so very happy but I feel very strongly that that isn't the vision God has for our relationships.

"Let your roots grow down into him, and let your lives be built on him. Then your faith will grow strong in the truth you were taught, and you will overflow with thankfulness." -Colossians 2:7

We are supposed to grow our roots deep into Christ and friendships and relationships are one vital way that this happens but this is a two way thing. I can't just sit in my comfort zone and reep all the benefits of quality friendships. I have a job to reach out and establish these intimate and eternal connections with all of my sisters in Christ so that they can start to build their lives on Christ too.

And this has nothing to do with how shy, outgoing, extroverted, or introverted I am. We are called to be in intimate community with every one and the best part is that God will equip us and empower us for that no matter what our personality tries to tell us.

"Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."- Hebrews 12:1-2

There is freedom from our fear and we can "lay aside" the "weight" of our insecurity and shyness and we can pursue intimacy with other people and we may get burned a lot along the way but look who were are supported and equipped by, "Jesus the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God." Who can stand against us if HE is for us?!

Now this doesn't come without struggle and fear often sneaks up onto us but we are empowered by a mighty God! Jesus didn't walk this earth living out shallow and surface level relationships, he was intimate with everyone and loved everyone so deeply that he died in the most shameful way for us. We aren't even asked to lay down our lives necessarily but we are so afraid to love people that deeply mostly because its scary and hurts sometimes. I am not trivializing the pain that people can inflict on us but  I am saying compared to the pain Jesus faced we should be able to walk this life with confidence and amazing endurance despite the outcome.

This all may seem way too lofty and unattainable and alone it is but our God is faithful and cares so deeply about us and our lives together that if and when we lean on him he will gently guide and help us become more like Jesus so we can be that image to everyone around us.

I challenge you, and I continue to challenge myself, to step away from our fears, our comforts, our excuses, and trust in the mighty hand of God to allow us to touch the hearts of everyone around us in a profound and intimate way.

Dear Jesus,
I thank you so much for the freedom we find in you. I thank you for your call on each of our lives to look and act more like you. I pray that we will seek to do your work in a powerful way. I pray you will equip us to courageously step into the lives of the people around us and to sit at the tables of their hearts and pour ourselves into them. We have the power through you to make other women feel loved, safe, and cherished. But we also so easily make other women feel quite the opposite. Equip and guide us to make them feel the latter. Help us set aside our fears and the weight of who we think we are and help us to cling to the truths of who you say we are. We are mighty and brave and we are a powerful tool for your kingdom. Use us right where we are.

Amen


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What a loaded question. And one that I am really struggling to answer in my life.

 I've been taught by the world what Christianity comes across as and that makes me sad. It truly aches my heart.

I've been taught by my parents what it should look like and there were far too many holes and far too many days not living it out that left me lost.

I've been taught by church what it's supposed to look like and I have walked away with a lot of wisdom and friendships and guidance in my early days but there seems to always be something missing when I step out those doors into the real world.

And now I'm being taught by my soul friends, my bible, and most of all by the Holy Spirit. The very spirit that lives in Jesus is now teaching me through me! That is the most amazing concept there is once you can finally grab ahold of it.

So as I battle with the truth that is growing inside of me and the influence of the world around me, good and bad, I sit and try to understand what this is really supposed to look like because this world wind of passion and truth and unrest inside myself seems to go against everything around me. I've been told that I'm supposed to be uncomfortable and that what I believe will make me stand out but I've never been told that at that moment when I truly start to take steps like Jesus that I will face adversity at every turn.

I've found so much comfort resting in the word of God and walking with Peter and Paul and Simon and many more as they face not only adversity but persecution, imprisonment, and death by the very people who were supposed to be the spiritual leaders of the time.

We are told to ask Jesus into our hearts and then follow him but what does following Jesus really look like? Is it sunday morning in stiff pews taking in a message we usually have our noses turned up to? Or is it standing while the worship band plays a new hip song and we occasionally raise a hand or sway back and forth but not so much that we bring attention to ourselves? Is it secretly buying a coffee for the person behind us in the drive thru? To me all these things seem pretty normal and the more I get to know Jesus the more I know down to my core that this isn't enough.

I don't have all the answers and I'm still trying to get past the fear and uncomfortability of my own life but I want more. I want to step into my church and feel so at home that I don't feel like I belong anywhere else. I want to stand with the worship band and be so over come with the holy spirit that the rooms explodes with joy and song and people dance around and jump on pews and sing and praise with every bone in their body. I want to be moved and equipped and then sent out to go into the world as a disciple. I want everyone around me to see Jesus radiating so brightly through me that I become a magnet for him. I want to heal the sick and raise the dead and perform miracles and great wonders everywhere I go for the glory of God. I want to devote everything I do so passionately and completely to Jesus that humility is a nonissue.

I want to lay my head down every single night knowing everyone around me couldn't shake that overwhelming love of Jesus for them. I want to move mountains and make disciples of the world.

I want to make Jesus, my father, my redeemer, my king, shine his face upon me because I am doing his work. I want to make my daddy proud! And I want to stop letting everyone around me down because I'm afraid to look radical, or crazy, or alone.

I guess I just want to be a Christian.




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From as early as I can remember my eyes have always been focused on the future. I was a fresh fifteen when I jumped in a cab and got my first job and from then on I've had a steady job and big plans for university and a career that I could be proud of.
This was something that became so embedded in me that it settled into the deepest corners of my heart. I had fallen madly in love with the prospects of the future.
Living this way, I would be seen as someone right on track, a youth to be proud of, but as I see my children's years speeding up before my eyes I see the danger in this way of thinking.

Plans change. Life throws you curve balls you can't hit no matter how hard you try. And that is what happened for me. As I look back I see these curve balls had very little to do with life and much more to do with God's bigger plan.

My big plans were quickly thrown off course when I found out I was pregnant at 19, and while that hit my little heart pretty hard, it wasn't long until I was just rerouting those plans and finding a way back to them.

Shortly after finding out the news of our little man that was joining our newly budding relationship, we packed up our little apartment and my one suitcase and made our way to Canada. All the while I was planning for when I was going to go back to school and trying to pick the best degree for the biggest career. The thing I noticed over these years of planning was that there was never a career that seemed to work for me. I would toss around idea after idea and I would always end up right back at the drawing board but I knew I had to pick something.

I just thought that maybe I hadn't figured myself out yet.

As the days swept by the deep love I had planted for my future at university hadn't faded. There were multiple times we would drive by the local university and I would bury my face in my arm and would cry. My heart ached so much thinking of my great plans being shattered. My heart was truly broken.

I'm sure I had opportunities to pursue these dreams and getting pregnant wasn't what held me back at all but to me at the time that's what seemed to be the culprit.

Years flew by and we made choices that took me further and further from those big dreams I had and the tears still fell and my heart still ached but the distance life was putting between me and that old life made it fade just a little. But it would always seem to find a way to sneak back in and pull me back down.

Until I finally figured it out!

It wasn't until this last year that I finally figured out that those big dreams that I was so deeply invested in were never meant to be. Getting pregnant young was a result of my own decisions but the rerouting of my plans were always what God had in mind. I'm learning now that those plans were mine and mine alone and even if things had gone differently all those years ago that was never the plan that was supposed to be lived out.

There was a reason I never "figured out" a career I fit into, there was always a reason that I couldn't find direction when looking into my education. It was because I was never supposed to be there.

What a huge time of healing for me! As I spent that last year finally getting to know my God, He has slowly started showing me the plans that he has for me and with that he started to heal the broken heart that I had inflicted on myself.

There are definitely days now that I sit and think about the future and what God has ahead of me but the key part of that is that I'm now focused on the plans God has for me. I had this huge plan that would have never worked out in the first place and now I bury my head in my arm and cry not because I'm broken over the change in plans but because I am thankful that God pulled me out before I walked too far.

Jeremiah 29:11
" For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."

I have read this a ton of times but not until this last year did I really begin to understand what it means. It's good to have plans and dreams but I placed all my cards on the plans that I had when I couldn't see beyond the horizon. God already has plans for me and they are perfect!


I now sit at home with two babies running around terrorizing the cat and drawing on walls and I feel a joy I know now I never would have had if I hadn't let God take over. I have a sense of peace and joy that is irreplaceable simply because I am exactly where God wants me right now. And this looks different for each of us. For the stay at home moms or the five to nine moms, if you settle into where ever it is that God wants you right now then you will always find rest and purpose.

There is no greater joy than finding yourself sinking into God's precious and unfailing plan for your life. I realize now that the place I set aside in my heart for my "future" was always supposed to be for God. I was making it a god in my life and because of that I had to face the consequences of it and that was a heart so deeply broken I didn't know if I could pick it back up. But I didn't have to. God saw me in my sadness and while I cried he cried with me then he waited for me to see him and he let me run into his arms. He picked up all the broken pieces and put them all back together better than they were before and helped me set my eyes back on him.

I still slip and slide but I know exactly where I'm supposed to put my feet now and I know that no matter what life looks like I will always have a great purpose. No matter how mundane or how wild, God sees the whole picture and I get to trust him to be waiting just on the other side of the horizon with the rest of the path.

I still have a future but now it's a future that I will fit perfectly into. A future where all the beautiful gifts God has given me will be used and a future that will truly glorify him. There is nothing more I could ask for beyond that. And the cool part is that I'm way more excited for this future because now I don't have to get it right. I don't have to worry that I chose the wrong path. All I need to do now is let go, be patient, trust God, get to know His voice more, and jump when he calls.



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broken

Hope by Lauren Parker